The Facts of the Naruto Universe
by meggoneggo
Summary: There are several facts that run the Naruto Universe. Some of these facts are well known, but others are what no one would ever expect. Humor. Multi-Chapter. Suggestions welcome. Multi-Character content.
1. Chapter 1

The Idea just came to me a few hours ago. This will be a multi-chapter story. No plot, just humor. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

* * *

><p><strong>Naruto Facts:<strong>

1. It is known fact between the Konoha 12, that Shikamaru Nara is a lazy genius. But what was not known was that the real reason behind his laziness is the fact that all his brainpower takes a toll on him, and he needs to rest, a lot. He tried to find out what would happen if he didn't fall asleep at all for one day, and found out that he acted exactly like Naruto; bouncing all over the place and screaming his head off. To him it was the worse day of his life, and he never wanted to repeat it again.

2. It was a known fact between every shinobi of the Hidden Leaf Village that Kakashi Hatake wore a mask to cover his face. Many have theories behind this, but none of them are right. Many think that he wears it because it is a tradition in his deceased family; others think that he wears it because he has a grotesque appendage on his face. The real reason however, is that Kakashi honestly thinks that if he took off his mask, the whole village will be destroyed from the sheer _perfectness_ of his face. He just loves his little genin too much to kill them.

3. It was a known fact between every shinobi in Konoha that the most detested D-rank mission, in the history of missions, was the catching of the Fire Daimyo's Wife's cat, Tora. What many don't know, is that this single D-rank mission has supplied the Leaf Village with 50 percent of it's funding for the past fifty years. It is an unknown fact, however, how that cat has managed to survive that long.

4. It was a known fact between all Hokages of every village that paperwork is _the most,_ _**worst thing**_ that they have to do while they are the leader of the village. Right next to war of course. But what they didn't know, or understand how, was that when Naruto finally became the Rokudaime of Konogakure, he found a way to concur the accursed paperwork. Once word got out that the blonde knew how to concur it, letters from every single elemental country were sent, offering a piece treaty, just so they could get the secret to contouring the paperwork. To say that Naruto thought he was the King of the world was an understatement. To say that he was he promptly laughed his ass off when he sent a reply to accept all the peace treaties, than told all the leaders that the solution was his signature _Shadow Clone Technique,_ was a monumental understatement. Naruto had single handedly created peace in his village for a whole month, before Iwagakure, Kirigakure, and Amegakure sent another letter saying that they found the conditions of the treaty were not valid enough to have the treaty continued.

5. It was a fact known between every citizen of Konoha, that when there was peace for three weeks out of that month, everyone practically _worshipped_ their Rokudaime. It was also known, that during that last week, the Rokudaime was unanimously _hated_ by every single citizen and shinobi of the Leaf Village. The reason being, that the three week of the month where spent partying, and spending everyone's funds on alcohol and festivals. During the last week, everyone soon realized that they had spent all their funds, and the only income that anyone could get was through D-ranks that where slowly going down in quantity. All the civilians soon found out that with no income for the Shinobi, meant no income for their stores and restaurants. For a whole month the Leaf Village was at peace. For a whole week, everyone in the Leaf Village was broke.

6. It was a well-known fact between all the participants of the first Chunin Exams for the Konoha 12, that Kiba and Naruto fought each other. It was also a well-known fact that Naruto had literally won the battle because he farted in Kiba's face. What wasn't a well-known fact was that Kiba refused to train with Naruto after that incident. He refused to train with him because of the fear of having to smell the terrible, ramen induced gas that his sensitive nose had to endure. He still had nightmares to this day.

7. It was a known fact between all of the Konoha 12 that Rock Lee was basically the Taijutsu master of them all. What was not a known fact was that Lee was unable to do a jumping jack. Lee and his team first learned this fact when they were first placed on a team together. Gai had just ordered them to do some warm up stretches and told them to do fifty jumping jacks. After thirty minutes, Gai was animatedly crying, Tenten was dying of laughter, and Neji's eye was twitching because of Lee's sorry attempts at doing a jumping jack. To this day Tenten still holds it over Lee's head.

8. It was a known fact between all shinobi of Konogakure that Kakashi read the series _Icha Icha Paradise_, it was also a well known fact, that he has read this same book several dozen times. What is not known, however, is that after he completes reading the whole book, he places a genjutsu over himself so he cannot remember the contents of the book. Simply so he can enjoy the whole series over again, without knowing what will happen next. Doing this he has, semi-unknowingly, cast a multi layered genjutsu that has been on him for over a decade. The doctors are unsure if it is bad for his health or not.

* * *

><p>Read&amp;Review!<br>vvv


	2. Chapter 2

**SO! Time for chapter 2! But first I'd like to clarify, that these paragraphs could, and will from now on, be considered mini stories. There are thousands of mini stories on FanFiction that are like 500 words long. I'm just combining all those little stories into several chapters. It's either that or has a whole bunch of one shots. The only reason that some people consider this a "list" is because it has numbers in front of the paragraph. So, there will be no more numbers. That is all.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

* * *

><p>Many of the Jounin of Konoha is very well aware of the fact that there are televisions in training ground 44, and cameras surrounding the area. Many are aware that Anko is in charge of these cameras and televisions. What some are not aware of, however, is that Anko sometimes lies when she says she is going to train at training ground 44. She actually goes into the tower of the training ground, and plays video games. Specifically video games that involve killing snakes and pale white bad guys.<p>

It was known to several kids from the Konoha 12's generation that Ino Yamanaka and Sakura Haruno where the best of friends when they where younger. It was also known that they ended their friendship once they found the marvelous world of Sasuke Uchiha. What no one really knew was that once Sakura and Ino split, they went and found new best friends. Ino went to Shikamaru, much to his displeasure, and Sakura was left stranded. When Naruto came along and started shouting out to the world that he had a crush on her, she was thankful. Not for the splitting headache when he was around, but for the fact that he actually noticed her, when she thought that she was fading into the background without Ino.

Naruto loved the color orange. This fact was well known all over the elemental nations. What was not known was that orange was _not_ Naruto's favorite color. It was actually red, the color of Sasuke's Sharingan. He has never told _anyone_ this, because he really hasn't figured out the reason himself. He just chalks it up to the fact that Sasuke is his best friend.

What was known to all older generations of Konoha was that Naruto was the Kyuubi Jinchuriki. What was not known was that due to the Kyuubi, Naruto was always warm and could never get cold. So when it finally snowed in Konoha after twenty years, and Naruto came to practice with shorts and a t-shirt on, Sasuke promptly kicked his ass and shoved his face in the snow. The last Uchiha hated the cold, but would _never_ admit he was jealous.

Obito Uchiha always cried. The whole village knew of this fact. What they didn't know was the actual reason why. It wasn't because of his ridicules excuse of 'having dirt' in his eye. It was actually because when he was younger, he accidently got hit in the eye by an accidently misfire from baby Itachi. Now when too much air hits his eyes, they sting and start to water, even turn slightly red. Obito never changed another diaper again. Itachi suffered because of it.

Kakashi was a genius. This fact was realized when he was very young. This fact was made the silver haired male very good at a number of things, some things some would never expect. For example, Kakashi, at the tender age of eight, was realized to be a poker god. This fact was realized after playing a few short rounds with Minato Namikaze, Inoichi Yamanaka, Shikaku Nara, and Chouza Akamichi. Once this fact was realized, the pubescent Yamanaka threw a fit and demanded that they switch to a harder game. He was just mad because he lost all his money to an eight year old.*

The Fourth Hokage was a number of things. He was a great leader. He was a noble shinobi. He was a hard worker. He was a polite man. He was very hansom, and one of the most wanted males in the village. What some people didn't know, however, was that he was a master of the dare. Whenever someone gave him a dare, he would do it. No-matter what. So when the Hyuuga twins were suddenly tackled to the ground and kissed, thirty seconds each, they thought nothing of it.

Fate had determined a lot of people's lives. Some people were more influenced by fate then others. But one person's fate was sealed when he was born. Konohamaru Sarutobi. The moment he was born, he was destined for greatness. Being born into the Sarutobi clan, he was already put on the watch list for Hokage. Fate decided this to happen. What fate didn't decide was for him to meet Naruto Uzumaki. Fate had determined Konohamaru's life, but not the course of action that he took. It was fate that Konohamaru would become Hokage. But it was Naruto Uzumaki that made the boy actually _want_ to title.

The young blonde haired shinobi that graduated last in his class was thought to be a failure. It was something that others _made_ into a fact. However, facts are not made, they are realizations of the truth. But when the blonde showed promise, everybody turned a blind eye. When he saved the village from the Suna's Jinchuriki, everyone pretended that it was all thanks to Sasuke Uchiha. When the blonde didn't bring back the last Uchiha, the village thought that their fact was true. It took a super powered man with stolen orange hair, a destroyed village, and the resurrection of thousands, to finally make people understand. They could not decide the facts of nature, only the truth of a person could. The truth was, Naruto Uzumaki was one of the most dedicated shinobi that the village had, and that not even fate could decide what this ninja was capable of.

* * *

><p><strong>*Idea came from another story. Want story, just ask.<strong>

**Suggestions to facts are welcome!**

**Read&Review!**

**:)**

**vvvvvv**


End file.
